daily alterego...

few days ago, I was in my room, doin something im not sure what, i forget what i did, then I heard my cousin, not the one who i told yesterday, another one, an 11 years old boy, he was saying few sentences, if im not mistaken, a question.. he repeated the question for few times, directing it to my aunt... it was just ordinary, nothing really special in it... in fact, again, if Im not mistaken, it was rather sweet, the question.

but suddenly, my aunt is kinda annoyed of his question..

at that point, I immediately realised that the sweet question was somehow ... how to say it.. not real.. not as what he usually is... i mean, he usually won't asked such question..

I began to realise that perhaps(im usin this word coz i dont wanna judge) he's doin' it to seek atention..


it is not surprising people try to catch attentions... a heap of people like these everywhere..

even I still sometimes do things to seek attention. even worst when i haven't been to meet God(thanks God, Ur love changes me).

but at that point I realises what such "fake" really is.

i said to myself spontaneously, "don't try to show something that u're not. something that is not at all inside you. "

why... ? nothing coz its just FAKE !!!!

hundreds and millons of times we tried to be somebody we are not... don't we realise that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made?" have u ever heard the quote "there's a change that only YOU can make" ?

we are created to be great as we are, in our own way, in the field we are gifted... not to be as great as somebody else.

so, should we decide to change our focus from bothering to be sb great to how we make the most of ourselves? i know its hard.. and lots of time, we tried so hard but falied... but the thing is, as long as we realise that that was all meant to shape a better us... life doesn't always go as smooth, but when we failed, that's when we should realise that something more than the success itself is ahead of us. If life was always a success, we would have learned nothing..

and I remembered the quote I wrote 2/3 years ago, "u are at your best when u are yourselves".. that's perfect! and no matter how hard we try to be someone else, it will never work better than being ourselves.

im not saying that when we discover our weakness, we should just give up, but to correct it without trying to be someone else...

it is also a pity when I heard someone (u can include me) agreeing at sth that we don't actually agreed in order to be accepted .. come on ! stand up for what we believe in! if we dont actually agreed, just said it.. its a cheap friendship if he/she just accept u when u agreed.. if she doesn't agree with u, and outcast u, that's better than to betray and compromise and lie to ourselves..
it's hard, that's why not many people can do this.. only those who want to be strong and EXTRAORDINARY.... that's what I'm learning. not to hold a CHEAP FAITH, but an UNSHAKEN FAITH ...

okay that's what I learned... hope u to be blessed by this post and let us KEEP MOVING FORWARD...

love from,

cinnamon

a first lil' story ....

this is my first post... maybe just a quick one, cuz I need to go to sleep to wake up early tmr.
why? cuz ill be accompanyin my newly arrived cousin for the foundation orientation tmr. I just have brought her to a brief trip in Wellington city to buy 'essentials' not supermarket, but like phone sim card and bus card and to bring her to have a look on the cool museum we have in Welly, and other delightful places and moments.

unimportant but just fyi, when i brought her to have an ice cream shot amidst the prickingly sunny but uncomfortably windy day, she and me was about to choose our flavours. the first thing when she was interested in when she looked at all the choices, she immidiately points out at 'cinnamon'. and when the person asked her to have a try, she tried cinnamon, she tried some others but none she liked best but cinnamon.

I felt just as usual, nothing really significant, cinnamon is everywhere and i need to choose my flavours as well...

but when i remembered about it, somehow, there's a feelin can't be concealed. A 'little alarm', too minute to be recognized on the spot, seemed to ring whenever i found out somebody liking cinnamon. somehow, it's recalling me of how i adored the whole thing bout cinnamon. the elegance of the taste, the beauty of a fine bark, the magic it has that makes ordinary food becomes authentic and farrrr tastier than without it... and most of all,, it's smell in God's throne...

yes, cinnamon used to be burned as an offering to God(the God I'm worshiping as a Christian), coz its smell pleases Him. A pastor told me(the whole church actually) about it in his preech. Why do I said 'he was telling me' ?

it's because my name is Kezia, its a hebrew and means CINNAMON...

that's why I always prayed that my life will be as such a pleasing
smell to
Him, in every single thing I do.. cuz I know,,

when God chose for our name, he has a specific purpose, of what ME or YOU
should be like...

and that's why when ever God calls OUR name, he is really 'calling' us ...