HOLY NIGHTMARE

let us delay the continuation of the camp story.

it was two days ago when I had a nightmare.

it is not the nightmare people think of, but the scene I "experience" in my dream is just .. I just wont let it happen to me..

i cant fully remember what i saw.. but it was like me with a "christian community". i know someone quiet well in this community and for a while had adored this person's personality, a man. But its not all about havin a crush on him. a bit, but not much to bother, seriously, just a bit.
not thinking of him at all for all of my days, not even the day i got that nightmare.

okay what was the dream about is from what i remembered, i got together with him .. see? what the?? and even in my dream, i knew i havent know him much, but just felt like getting together.. iknow, wierd dream.. and the worst part is, because we dont know each other so well, we just try to get closer to each other and suddenly, we are really close physically, sayin romantic stuff to each other,, AND ENJOYIN OUR TIME BEING AT THAT POSITION!!! even it was just a dream, i clearly can feel the joy feeling when u're in love, like amore stuff.

then... I dont remember why, I had to give him up... and was challenged, if You wanna keep ur commitment to God, if you have faith, GIVE HIM UP...

you know, in my life i have had experienced surrendering things to God, lots of struggle, but I had always considered my love to God and set my priority upon it, even i felt so baaad givin up things. and i have never worried if i had to surrender that 'amore' sort of stuff, because i know, i dont want these things to hurdle my journey in God.

but dont know why just at that moment i felt sooooooooooo baaaaaaad givin him up, i cant make my mind and just felt so lost...

then.. not long, I woke up...... terribly shocked and shout to myself GOSH!!!!! THIS CANT HAPPEN TO ME. ITS.. DISGUSTING...

i just cant believe that that nightmare scene had ever come to my dream. i cant stop thinking, WHY HAD GOD LET THAT HAPPEN?? didnt he know, im trying my best on my journey not to get stucked into amore until He really wanted me to marry or sth? or even if He has never wanted me to, thats perfectly fine? just cant accept that disgusting think come to my dream!!! i always struggle to get rid of that sort of dirty stuff out of my mind when ever they start strucking into. buuut.. why?

okay, then in the midst of mixed feeling.. He spoke.. "can u remember "that couple"?" (referring to a love bird in the community) God continued speaking.. " you know now how it feels to be in love, hard right to give up?"

for some sec I just considered His voice and think of what it means and I thought, yes Lord, I know its hard to give up when we fall into amore, and thats why i never want to fall there.

He spoke again.. "they need you..."

considering what He said I just realise my job to tell people about the standards of "holyness" that God really wants young ppl to know.

I also remembered my question that I always asked God..
"God, can a youth being in a relationship and is in love, can they still love you as musch as they should have if they are not in love?" (what i mean is not the relationship which you do to prepare for marriage, which you keep distance to each other, but i mean like usual teenager, huging and that sort of stuff) . it is cuz i see several people like that and they are really into God. I always wonder, is that right? is that possible?

then I know now, that it is not possible. especially, if we are not going through the relationship in a 'holy' way, and not preparing for marriage. u better dont.
its good that we have the time and energy and heart to be fully dedicated to God while we are young. right? cuz as we are gettin older n older and more resposibilities we have, our ability to follow God, reduces, even if we really wanted to do so?

SO, LET US YOUNG PEOPLE, DONT WASTE OUR TIME MINDING TO FULFILL OUR CARNAL MIND, GET UP, SERVED THE LORD, WORK TO REACH THE LOST, BE DIFFERENT...

AND WHAT SHOULD AWAITS US ALONG AND AT THE END OF THE JOURNEY : THE BEAUTIFUL FAVOUR OF GOD IS ON US. AND HE WILL DEFINITELY USE OUR LIFE!

with this i realise and renew my commitment to the Lord, to tell young people bout this more passionately.

writing this also renew my courage and commitment for this mission!

i realise this is my job to tell the community about the TRUTH. Thanks God!


BE BLESSED, MOVE FORWARD !